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Weeeeeeeeeee. I’m  doing the Orange Wednesday film review again this time because Moog is in a huge huff since I think Jason Statham is not as bad as Hitler. This means I got to go watch a film at the expense of someone else. The film in question is Casino Royale, the new Bond James Bond film.


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With November the 5th having just been and gone we decided to find out what went on around the country. Here’s your official Weebl’s Stuff round up of Bonfire Night events in the UK.

Brandon Parva
Brandon Parva in Norfolk hosted its traditional Scapefawkes Festival, where villagers choose the resident who looks most like failed terrorist Guy Fawkes and inflict violent retribution on him for the year’s murders, burglaries and disappointing music releases. After 2005’s fiasco, razors and shaving foam had been banned from the area for a month, and eventually long-time resident Matthew Kingston was chosen. Lucky! This was followed by the ‘Fawkesy Lady’ pageant, then an intense group councilling session by Paul McKenna.

Warsash
Warsash in Hampshire launched an exciting record attempt by building the World’s Biggest Bonfire! Residents filled every house in the area with dry wood and gasoline, and once the immense hedgehog check had concluded they torched the entire village. BURN IT! BURN IT ALL!

The residents now plan to roam the land nomadically kipping in other people’s garden sheds.

Hythe
Residents of Hythe in Kent probably missed the spectacular Daytime Silent Fireworks Display, which cost 2.5 million pounds to create and could sort of be seen if you squinted a bit. It seemed like a good idea at the planning stage, OK? I mean Geoff was totally convinced it was going to work, but he had just come out of a rather messy affair with his accountant and could have been on a lot of painkillers.

Collyweston
Collyweston in Northamptonshire once again had its’ annual Legal Challenge To Get The Name Of Guy Fawkes Night Changed To Robert Catesby Night! The town reasons that since Catesby was the mastermind of the whole gunpowder plot it’s a bit unfair that he should be metaphorically pissed on for all eternity, and also Catesby was born in Collyweston so can we have some publicity please? Over 10,000 visitors  came and derisively laughed and pointed.

Ballachulish
Finally, the citizens of Ballachulish in Scotland have spent three months building a giant wicker Inspector Gadget . Can someone please go and ask them why?

Normally Moog does the Orange Wednesday film reviews for this site but due to his rampant Stathamophobia (which he brandished for all to see in a shameful display last time), I have decided to step up and be a man. A man who watches a film and then tells you what he thought about it.


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I love everything about going to the cinema. I even love the bits that other people hate, like the wet smacking sound of people eating cheese nachos with their mouths open, or that special smell accrued from years of stale popcorn and flat soft drinks being mashed into the carpet. Mm mm. So when Weebl asked me to go and watch The Black Dahlia I immediately stopped writing ‘vorderman’ over and over again on my forehead with a fibre-tipped pen and rushed off.

The result is the imaginitively titled Black Dahlia Review!


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